Energy Adjustments (part 2)
WERE THEY VIBRATIONAL ADJUSTMENTS, KARMIC BALANCING, OR ENERGY CLASHES?
Continuing on from the story of Open and The Panther in part 1, Jessica introduces The Puppy in part 2 and questions her own negative energy.
The week before I met The Panther I met another man, a puppy in comparison. He was initially infatuated with me but within days said he could never see me again because he found my energy too over-powering; it brought up too much trauma and pain from old wounds. He had experienced mild psychosis at different times in his life and my encounter had not helped. He had begun to see spiders crawling out of his bedroom wall. He was feeling anxious and my energy made him feel vague and light-headed (not too good when you are a bicycle courier!)
Mmmm, I had not experienced my energy causing somebody else to feel unbalanced. Was I unaware of my negative energy? Was I being an energy vampire? If my energy was too intense because my vibration was faster than The Puppy did that mean that the vibration of the panther was faster than my own and was he actually helping me with healing? I didn’t have an answer and stopped thinking about it.
Last May, ten months after our first meeting, the panther suggested we catch up, I agreed—I wanted to see what impact his energy would have on me—and if I could intuit him better, with more clarity. We had no commonality in our outlook, his spirituality and mine seemed polar opposite. Although he talked the light his energy and behaviour felt sinister to me; or was I just frightened? There was no physical response during or after our meeting. However, today my body definitely signals to me to keep away.
It became clear that, again, I was being tested.
Last week, I dropped off my jacket into my local drycleaners. To be honest I had noticed a middle aged man working there, it was unusual as they’d had the same staff there for a long time. The point: I had noticed his presence when I walked past a few times over the last few months—I didn’t remember this until I walked in last Saturday to drop off my jacket. I left the shop twenty minutes later after we briefly discussed my book and his desire to write his life story, or, more accurately, his desire to meet somebody who would write his extraordinary life story.
Strange things happening
I went to collect my jacket the following Tuesday. He asked if I had a spare five minutes to talk—for him to tell me his life story. It took an hour. After which he claimed he’d never told it to anyone before. He noted that no patrons came into the shop, which he said was extremely odd, and the music had stopped playing—also odd, he felt things were very much out of the ordinary.
I passed his shop the following Monday and he raced out of the front door to tell me he had come down with dreadful ‘flu-like symptoms for two days after we had met the previous week. However, he said, by Saturday he had fabulous energy and had cycled further than he was usually able. He said he felt I was somehow connected to the reason behind his symptoms: he had told me he never got sick and then he did, he had told me his whole life story, was I destined to write it? He pondered.
I believe that in telling his life story, which had its fair share of trauma within it, an energy purging occurred. Not unlike moving energy from a body after a massage, in the telling he was feeling through and moving energy that had been suppressed for a long time. I’ve noticed I have this effect on people—their need to unload their hidden truths. Antics with the dry cleaner continued a little longer and became more demanding until it became clear that, again, I was being tested to listen to my intuition and walk away.
Now I have written these stories I am fascinated to realise all these episodes happened with men. Which I suppose is not really surprising as I have had greater contact with women in my life than men. I expect these men were on some level helping balance my masculine side or were they balancing karma from past incarnations? Was it clashing energy or a vibration adjustment?
A valuable gift
Do you play a cathartic role for people? It’s a valuable gift but I am learning it’s important to know we are conduits, maybe like an earthing wire, there’s no need to carry the energy, to become invested in the trauma or story that belongs to someone. On reflection, I can see that The Panther helped me listen to my intuition and maintain my boundaries: neither of which I did. The Puppy showed me that he trusted his intuition, respected his own needs and boundaries. The dry cleaner continued my circular pattern and lesson learnt—for now!
Now back to the first story from part one: perhaps Open and The Panther, both influential players in spiritual circles, precipitated vibrational adjustments for me. Source, I am told, is love. But is Source the seed of Universal consciousness, which is both yin and yang, light and dark, good and evil? I believe the expansion of each person’s consciousness or awareness is pivotal to the unity and evolution of humanity, and with expansion comes an increase in our energetic vibration, but does that mean that it has to be light and love at its core? Maybe I needed a vibrational adjustment from both ends of the light spectrum?
The lessons I speak about having learnt in this article relate closely to hidden aspects of ourselves known as the Shadow. You can read more details on this crucial aspect of spiritual growth on this link to the Shadow Work portal.